


Winter Memories

by Scribblestuff



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Christmas, Fluff, Holidays, M/M, Romance, Secret Santa, discord prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22462087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scribblestuff/pseuds/Scribblestuff
Summary: Dorian feels homesick during the winter holidays. A Secret Santa fic I wrote for our Discords dearest Ein.This isnt my usual ship but I tried my best to sail it. I never realized how cute relationship!Cole probably is!
Relationships: Cole/Dorian Pavus
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Winter Memories

Dorian hurried through the great hall, sweeping at the snow that had gathered on his shoulders.

Snow and ice were not uncommon in Skyhold given its location, but the inhabitants were excited that this snow storm had landed. It wouldn’t be Wintersend without snow. Still, Dorian thought to himself, his hands held out towards the roaring fireplace briefly as he made his way to the rotunda, if it meant he wouldn’t slip every five paces on his way to and from the tavern then he’d happily make do without.

Dorian headed up the steps to the library. He had been at Skyhold for almost an entire calendar’s worth of holidays but, judging by the reception they’d been given, he was unsure if Wintersend would even be celebrated this year. 

Saturnalia in Skyhold had been so dull it would have bordered on treasonous back home. Festivities among the myriad of nameless faces that lived here seemed somber, and the Inquisitor’s inner circle seemed determined to act like the holiday didn’t even exist, which had shocked Dorian. Even Sera had taken to the rat’s nest she called a bedchamber after their third round of drinks that night, complaining of a headache. Dorian had searched for answers with Cole, who had delicately explained that no one wanted to think this might be their last Saturnalia. That if they failed, there would be no more holidays to speak of.

The thought had not occurred to Dorian, who took the view that every day might be his last anyway, so he may as well enjoy it. Their conversation had left him in a pensive mood for the rest of winter, and not just about the morbid thinking of his teammates. He thought about Cole. Dorian’s scholarly curiosity had taken over their first conversations and, looking back, he cringed at how naïve he’d been about the subject of spirits and the fade. Cole though had stayed friendly throughout, not seeming to mind Dorian’s stumbling.

He coloured slightly at the memory of the man’s cheerful smile. When he had seen Cole as more than just a subject of study he couldn’t say, all he knew now was how hard he tried to appear nonchalant whenever he was around, how he tried not to laugh too loudly at Cole’s attempts at jokes, to turn it into coughing if he thought anyone else had caught on. How Cole made him smile far too broadly when he rode his horse next to his instead of Solas or Varric.

Dorian flopped down into his armchair and propped his elbow on the worn arm, rubbing his temples. He had thought to get Cole a gift for this Saturnalia, but when it seemed no one else would take part he’d given up. However, it seemed it was much more difficult for people to ignore the jolliness inherent in Wintersend, and he was sure that people would expect gifts. Blast it.

He swivelled sideways and swung his leg over the sides of the chair and, for possibly the first time since he came to Skyhold, felt homesick. It was a deep ache in his stomach that seemed to radiate in waves throughout his chest.

People back home did not let something as small as impending doom cancel the biggest event in the Tevinter calendar! If anything, it added to the desperate frenzy that accompanied most of the winter festivities he’d been to. Decorations would be hung on every available space, statues would be festooned with wreaths. Baubles and candles would be enchanted to twirl and hang in the air. A fire hazard certainly, but it added a flavour of excitement trying to dodge them as you sped down a busy hallway. Oh, and the parties they would have.

He remembered one memorable Saturnalia where the host, a rather old and rich Altus who became so inebriated he forgot to let his taster check the punch for poison, had been assassinated. Did they let that ruin the night? Of course not! His chums raised him right there in the middle of the floor, and they kept right on celebrating well into the dawn.

His corpse had been a fantastic dancer, thought Dorian fondly.

“Whirling through the night, blood still on his shirt. His family couldn’t remember a time he looked so peaceful.”

Dorian jumped with a start and made to disentangle himself from the chair, his legs locking with adrenaline. He turned and looked up into Cole’s face.

Cole was leaning on the back of the chair and wore a dazzling grin. He reached forward and grabbed on to Dorian’s jacket to stop him from falling from his seat. Cole didn’t seem to exert any effort and Dorian wondered how strong he actually was before looking back up and deciding that train of thought was a little too risque to be thinking in front of the present company.

Cole laughed, “The Iron Bull is much stronger than I am.”

He let go as Dorian got to his feet and stood back. His hands fluttered behind his back, then around to his front before clasping together.

“I don’t doubt it, but I think you’d give him a run for his money.” said Dorian, getting to his feet and moving towards the window. He hoped a cool breeze would calm his nerves. He’d been getting frazzled lately whenever Cole was around.

“I wonder if we asked him to wrestle you if he’d fall for it.” he leaned on the window ledge and looked back towards Cole as he spoke.

Cole made as if to close the gap between them, but stopped himself.

“Dorian,” he mumbled, swaying gently from one foot to the other as he contemplated what to say next, “Varric said its Wintersend tomorrow, the day the seasons turn, life springing from death, the end of ice and cold. Um, he said people like to celebrate it together.” He paused and looked up through his fringe, and Dorian felt his cheeks burn again.

“That’s right,” he replied, thankful for the chill coming from the open window. “There’s usually a feast and a fair amount of carousing among the servants. Sometimes there are games.”

Cole’s face lit up, “I like games! What kind of games?”

“Oh, you know things like charades or Who am I?” Dorian chuckled as he thought back to previous holidays. “When I lived at Alexius’s estate we would play guess the ornament. Every year he’d hang hundreds of ornaments on a giant tree in the main hall. You had to guess how many were on the tree, if you got it right people had to bring you drinks for the rest of the night. Of course, I always won. I would sneak downstairs the night before and count them.” he laughed again “and then there are the gifts.”

“Oh yes! I forgot about the gifts. Do I have to get one for everybody?”

“Maker, no! It would take years finding gifts for everyone in Skyhold. We exchange gifts between friends and family.”

Cole looked at Dorian curiously, “Dorian, does that mean I could get you a gift?”

“Oh! If you like.” Dorian tried to sound nonchalant, “Well, there’s not much I can think that I want. Although I’m sure I’d like any gift you want to give.” he backtracked quickly “honestly there’s no need to trouble yourself Cole, gifts are not a mandatory part of Wintersend.”

“No. I’d like to give you a gift, Dorian.” Cole said softly.

He looked distractedly at the bookcases that lined the reading nook, “Tomorrow.” he said absently, “I’ll find you and we can exchange gifts.”

Dorian tried to argue, but Cole had already disappeared.

“Kafas.” He cursed and dashed towards the staircase leading to the rotunda. One day to find Cole a gift, and not even a full day. It was almost noon.

Dorian’s mind raced through the possibilities as he took the stairs two at a time. As he reached the bottom of the staircase, he heard the familiar intake of air that accompanied Coles disappearing trick.

He slowed to a walk and looked over to find Solas at his desk, staring at him guiltily.

“Solas.” Dorian nodded stiffly at the elf.

“Master Pavus.” said Solas, looking at him curiously.

They nodded to each other and Dorian walked stiffly to the rotunda door, breaking into a run as soon as the door had closed behind him.

Another flash and the smell of smoke mixed with soap, but this time he didn’t stop to look. He just hoped Cole wasn’t going in the same direction he was.

“Watch it Sparkler, you’re going to break your neck on a patch of ice racing off at that speed.” came Varric’s amused shout behind him.

He lifted his hand in recognition but didn’t slow his pace until he reached the tavern.

He maneuvered his way through the throng of people. The chill in the air seemed to have led them all here and made his way to the corner of the room where the chargers were drinking mulled wine. He sidled closer to Krem and kept his voice low. Cole liked to spend his time in the attic here, he didn’t want to be too loud and give away his gift.

“Boss.” said Krem casually, tipping back his tankard as he listened to Dorian’s request. His eyes widened and his chair almost hit the floor as Dorian finished speaking. He slammed his drink down on the table in front of him. “You want it when!”

“Shh.” Hissed Dorian before continuing their conversation in tense whispers.

“I can try.” said Krem finally, looking defeated “But I’m not guaranteeing anything. It’s a big ask.”

“No, I know” said Dorian, sitting down in relief, “Thank you.”

“Yeah well a big ask comes with a big price tag. Now move, looks like I’ve got a busy night ahead of me.” Krem got to his feet as Dorian moved his chair aside to allow him to pass.

He picked up Krem’s tankard and eyed the contents warily. It really was going to be a long night.

*

Dorian spent the next day with a knot in his stomach. His hands kept reaching reflexively to his back pocket to reassure himself it was still there.

He had hid the first half of the day in the library hoping Krem would finish it in time, but now that he had the package — delivered by Bull along with his own gift for Dorian, a leather-bound calendar so he could “get a start on planning next years gifts” — he searched out Cole impatiently but he was nowhere to be found.

He resigned himself to giving the gift at the Wintersend feast with everyone else and made to head out of the library and to his quarters to get changed into something festive. His hand reached for the stairwell door when another hand joined his. He looked up into light blue eyes.

“Ah! Cole, just the man I was looking for.” he stammered, unable to think of anything else to say.

Cole had changed. His hat was gone, his hair slicked back with gel. A simple black shirt and a pair of tight fitting leggings that looked strangely familiar had replaced his tunic and patched trousers. Dorian thought the trousers looked suspiciously like Solas’s style, and he wouldn’t be surprised if the shirt was Varric’s, the neck was too roguishly low to belong to Cole.

“They wanted to help.” said Cole nervously, “Looks can show people you care about them. It’s important to show people you care about them.”

He looked like he was relaying something that had been patiently explained to him. “I want to show him I care, but the words get tangled up, tripping, tumbling on the tip of my tongue.” he blushed red. “showing is easier.”

Dorian stood dumbfounded before jerking back to life. It felt like his mind had abandoned him in his hour of need, all the thoughts that he had lined up neatly ready for this moment had disappeared. Dorian rallied himself. He was determined to get through this with at least part of his dignity intact.

“Yes well um, you look very dashing Cole. And I agree that showing you care is important — in fact.”

He reached into his pocket but Cole stopped him, grabbing his arm gently as if he was afraid of touching him. “Actually, I want to show you first.”

“Oh, Alright” Dorian stammered, lost at sea.

Cole was looking at him too intensely and was too close, how had he never noticed before how tall Cole was? Sweat beaded his forehead as Cole took a step towards him and bent his head down. Then he smiled his sunbeam smile and pushed open the stairwell door, gesturing for Dorian to look inside.

Dorian gasped.

The entire stairway shone.

Golden decorations hung from every conceivable surface, sprigs of live flowers tucked into every crack in the old stone walls. Dorian dawdled up the twisting stairway. Every Tevinter themed decoration he’d ever thought about was here, the frozen baubles of ice hung magically from the ceiling. Red and gold paper serpents undulated along the banister. Even the terribly dangerous dribbling candles hung ominously, clustered together in the corners.

“I heard you yesterday. Homesick, hopeless, hurt. How can I long for a place that didn’t accept me, couldn’t accept me? I wanted to help, not because I heal hurt but because... because it was you. You don’t have to feel homesick if I could show you that your home is here. With me.” he paused for a moment, “I mean with all of us.”

Dorian smiled. He felt the happiest he’d been since arriving at Skyhold. He didn’t dare speak, in case his sharp tongue somehow ruined this perfect moment.

He looked around him as they reached the top of the stairs. Had anyone done anything like this for him before, thought so carefully and earnestly, not just about what he wanted but about what he needed? He wasn’t sure he wanted to dwell too much on the answer.

“Ah! There’s one more thing.” said Cole.

Cole passed in front of Dorian and motioned instead to the double doors at the end of the hallway. Dorian watched in bemusement. They only led out onto a small, cramped balcony, nowhere important.

Slowly and deliberately he opened them and Dorian burst into laughter.

The balcony view was usually obstructed by a large fir tree, but today, on Wintersend, it was covered in shining baubles. Someone had placed a painted gold star crookedly on the top. Dorian thought it looked suspiciously like Blackwall’s handiwork.

“You have to try and count all the ornaments then guess how many there are!” Cole said excitedly flitting around the balcony as Dorian drew closer. “I wanted to decorate the entire tree, like Alexius did, but Solas said I should just put them on the top so you could count them easily.” he continued.

“Ahh and what do I get if I guess correctly.” said Dorian jovially.

Cole looked at him strangely, “A present.”

Dorian swallowed thickly and cast about for a way to change the topic. “Ah! Talking of gifts.” His hand flew to his pocket. “You may have to close your eyes, Cole, it was too difficult to wrap.”

Cole stepped in front of Dorian and closed his eyes obediently.

“No peeking.” Dorian said sternly.

“I won’t.”

“No mind peeking either.”

Cole laughed, “I promise.”

“Okay. One second, annnd. Now.”

Cole opened his eyes and gingerly took the gift from Dorian’s hands.

“It’s a Nug!”

“It is.”

“And it’s wearing my hat!”

“It is. And look, it has your name on its foot, see.” Dorian pointed to a hoof.

“Why does it have my name on it? I know my name.”

“Oh,” said Dorian “well, so other people know it belongs to you, in case you lose it.”

“I won’t lose it.” Cole smiled. “I’ll keep it safe.” He took a step closer to Dorian, and the air stilled.

Dorian’s ears buzzed.

“Cole I-” he cleared his throat, which suddenly felt dry. He tried again, “Cole, I’ve been thinking and-” He stopped again.

He felt hot despite the snow piled around them in soft piles along the balcony.

“You’re important to me, very important. As a friend and I would like, that is, if you would like, well I-”

“I know.” said Cole as Dorian laughed nervously.

“You do.” Dorian affirmed and sighed in relief.

“Bright eyed, sweet and smiling, full of wonder. Laughter ringing as clear as Chantry bells, smelling of soap and smoke. His lips are so pink, like passion fruit. Would he mind if I-”

Dorian stared wide eyed. “Cole.”

He looked at Dorian thoughtfully. “I wouldn’t, you know.”

Dorian closed the gap separating them and leaned forward.

Cole closed his eyes, and, after a moment, sought Dorian’s hand, intertwining their fingers.

Minutes passed by in silence.

“Was that supposed to happen?” Cole asked finally.

“Well, that’s what usually happens after a confession of that nature, yes.” said Dorian bemusedly.

“No!” said Cole, resting his forehead against Dorian’s. “I mean everything stopping. Still, silent, slow, as if the entire world was holding its breath.”

“Ah” Dorian looked at their hands still clasped together and ran his thumbs idly over them. “Sometimes yes. It’s been known to happen.”

“Ah.” Cole whispered quietly.

“Do you still want me to count the baubles on the tree?” Dorian asked playfully.

“Oh! I forgot all about them, sorry I’ve already given you your gift.”

Dorian laughed “Luckily for you it’s a gift you can give more than once. If you want to, that is.”

Cole smiled a smile bright enough to melt snow.

“I do.”


End file.
